Vegan Mango Cheesecake

Hey my loves,

it was my Mom’s birthday yesterday and I wipped up some vegan treats for her. If you follow me on Snapchat (@jillicue) and IG you might have already seen some of it and since I received hundreds of requests for the recipes I thought I am just going to type them down for you. The first one is my MANGO MARACUJA CHEESECAKE.

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Urban Running in Cologne

Last week I was at the Urban Pack Event by Asics and I can’t even begin to tell you guys how amazing it was and how much I enjoyed every bit, every second of it, from bootcamp workout warm up with loud blasting music in a subway station to silent meditation after the most beautiful yoga flow…

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It was a weekend full of fun, adventures, laughs, movement, community, passion, happy tears – and most importantly incredibly inspiring people.

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Time To Love Me

It is Valentine’s Day and I want to take this opportunity to write about a very important topic: Self Love. I am partnering with CLUSE for their campaign “Time To Love Me” to share my thoughts on this subject with you and give you some tips that help me to be more gentle and kind to myself.

“You are your most important relationship.”

 Self love is absolutely vital – especially when we talk about relationships. I believe that we are meant to be in partnership. “Belonging” is essential for our health and well being and we all have a deeply engraved desire to connect. But you cannot truly love anyone until you know how to love yourself. We cannot give what we do not have. It always starts with YOU. If you want deep intimate relationships in your life – and I mean true intimacy, not just physically being with someone – you need to show the people you care about who you really are. And for that vulnerability you need to truly know and accept yourself.

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The Struggle

I don’t even know where to start. But I started, so I guess that is a good thing?

I’ve been struggling. In December my uncle died and it really hit me. Not just the pain of losing a loved one but also the things that came with it, stuff from the past that was brought to the surface, the images at the funeral, my grannies pain, the recurring feeling of loss that seems to be a major motif in my life. Since then I’ve been in a downwards spiral up until 2 weeks ago, when I felt like hitting rock bottom. I really forced myself to change a few things, I reorganized my apartment (which helped so much!), had amazing support from my family and focused on good habits. So I was doing better for a few days, flew to L.A., had one of the most beautiful weekends of my life – and I really mean that -, came back home and had a successful model job in Hamburg. The following weeks look great, my bestie Melina is coming on Friday, I am excited to finish my uni essays, attend a few events and work.

But yesterday marked a new low point of my depression. I have been dealing with mental health issues for years now. I know why. And sometimes I manage my life beautifully in spite of it.

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Let’s be wild

The idea is to basically live forever, to die young but as late as we can 💫 Love stories beginning in the middle of the night, like a sudden storm, flooding our empty souls. Hurricanes in our minds. Wild lilies in our hearts. Kissing with fever, sweat on our skin. Writing novels about the miracles you let me see. Not afraid of scars. Not scared to fall. Sometimes we shine brighter than the sun. Some days I collapse in your lap and you break into questions and fears. Yet the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

Drunk on our love

A night, so dark, it changed everything. Forever dawn in my heart. Trust, letting you be my guard. A day that taught me breathing. Oceans waving in my bloodstream. Feelings much realer than they seem. Your eyes giving me freedom. A second too much being vulnerable in your touch. Growing strong from your respect, a kind of respect I never had. Touched, and by all the things you said. We make light together, being light forever. Distilling these moments and getting drunk on our love.

Too much

Too much of a good thing can be really fucking great.

Too much faith, faith feeling like home. Cause your presence holds me smoothly, let’s me breath, gives me reason and sleep tight. Too much I see you, I believe in you and you in my light. Too much trust, trust that doesn’t count, doesn’t need, doesn’t demand. Trust not in you, not in me, but in us and in what we will be. Too much respect, that no backtalk respect, when ‘of course’ is the only answer left, too much no-question-yes. Too much dream come true and never expected wonder. Too much magic, too much pull. Too much night, touch, kiss. Too much that I had missed. Too much happy and sparkle when I sing your songs, too much I’m yours and that is where I belong. Too much free and flying, higher, too high. Too much collecting moments, too much living dreams and dying pain. Too much treasure in your heart, too much appreciation for your art, too much never going to be apart. Too much forever and never too much you. ☄