Let’s do this.

Hello beautiful souls.

You have no idea how many days I have been pushing this away. Weeks in fact. Or rather months.

If you follow me on Instagram (@jiliciousjourney) you know that I use that platform for my “blogging”. It has been my diary for the last couple of years and I love sharing my thoughts on there. But in saying that I do regret that I haven’t really been using my blog, because while I do reach a lot of people with my captions on IG daily, a) it’s not really the perfect place for long deep writings and b) people usually don’t really go back and read older posts so they somewhat get lost.

Instagram has become a comfort zone for me. Suffering with mental health makes many things that seem normal and achievable for others insanely hard for me. This is true for many areas in my life. One being my work and this blog. Can you believe that I actually had anxiety to start writing here?

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Brownie Ice Cream Dream

Hello beautiful souls ♥︎

Today I am sharing with you the brownie nicecream recipe I created a few weeks ago. This is an absolute DREAM for every chocolate lover and will not only satisfy any sweet craving but also basically take you to food heaven. I promise! It’s absolutely simple to make, totally healthy and guilt free but so delectable that it can easily compete with every dairy ice cream.

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And if you ask me, it’s 100 times better because a) it’s so healthy that you can actually enjoy a huge bowl of it without fearing stomach pain or feeling heavy afterwards, b) it’s raw vegan made with only wholesome nutritious ingredients that are good for your body and c) it proves once again that nobody needs refined sugar or animal products to create a delicious dessert – well or breakfast, whenever you crave something chocolaty.

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Brother-Sister-Day ♥︎

Familie kommt bei mir absolut an erster Stelle. Vor allem da ich im Moment so viel unterwegs bin, versuche ich in der Zeit zwischen meinen Reisen möglichst viel mit meinen Liebsten zu machen. Diese Tage sind dann wirklich wie “Batterien-Aufladen” und tun mir unglaublich gut. Die letzten Jahre waren sehr turbulent und da bin ich heute umso dankbarer, wie gut das Verhältnis zu meiner Family ist. Es war bestimmt nicht immer leicht, aber harte Zeiten schweißen zusammen…

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Das ist vielleicht mal Thema für einen anderen Blogpost, aber heute wollte ich euch von meinem Bruder-Schwester-Tag letzten Samstag erzählen.

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The Struggle

I don’t even know where to start. But I started, so I guess that is a good thing?

I’ve been struggling. In December my uncle died and it really hit me. Not just the pain of losing a loved one but also the things that came with it, stuff from the past that was brought to the surface, the images at the funeral, my grannies pain, the recurring feeling of loss that seems to be a major motif in my life. Since then I’ve been in a downwards spiral up until 2 weeks ago, when I felt like hitting rock bottom. I really forced myself to change a few things, I reorganized my apartment (which helped so much!), had amazing support from my family and focused on good habits. So I was doing better for a few days, flew to L.A., had one of the most beautiful weekends of my life – and I really mean that -, came back home and had a successful model job in Hamburg. The following weeks look great, my bestie Melina is coming on Friday, I am excited to finish my uni essays, attend a few events and work.

But yesterday marked a new low point of my depression. I have been dealing with mental health issues for years now. I know why. And sometimes I manage my life beautifully in spite of it.

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