Untethering | I guess this is a life update


Hey beautiful souls ♥︎

It has been quiet on here for the last weeks because I was so in the midst of something that I could hardly find words to describe what was going on but at the same time I could not focus which made it impossible to simply write about any of the other topics I have in the pipeline to share with you. I felt just really lost and somewhat stuck.

And after weeks of fighting it and trying to find answers and explanations I finally was able to surrender to the process, to fully embrace the transformation that is taking place. It was ugly, it was messy. Sleepless nights, attempts to numb the troubling emotions, physical symptoms of extreme burn out,… even suicidal thoughts creeped back in.

Right now everything is shifting and I am experiencing a massive breakthrough. So much is starting to make sense! And not just on a mind level, not because I can explain it rationally, but deeper: on a soul level I see veils lifting and an infinite amount of beautiful divine light is shining in. There is so much energy within me – I feel so vast, so free, so full, so huge. I experienced states like this before, glimpses of this immense power and light – but this is a new level…

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Hey you! ♥︎

I have been thinking a lot about my work, my content, my situation, life, everything… over the past week. As you probably know from my post on Instagram and my latest blogpost, I was planning to be in Kenya right now to bring donations, help and volunteer at the school there. This has been a big dream of mine for a while now and I was so excited to bring it to fruition finally. But life had a different plan and so I am currently bed ridden with a broken foot and severe adrenal fatigue symptoms – and therefor a lot more time to introspect and plan than expected.

Today I want to share some recent reflections with you and announce a few changes that I am making.  Continue reading

The Broken Foot Story & Some Things I’m Learning Right Now


I woke up this morning. Exhausted. More tired than I find myself at night. A burning headache. Under eye circles and puffy cheeks.

I woke up. Went to pee. Brushed my teeth. Washed my face. Back in my bedroom I closed the curtain. I can’t stand the light coming in. It’s the first grey day. I’m not complaining though. February has been so sunny. Unusually sunny.

Getting up with the sun has been so beautiful. It shines right into my bedroom when it rises, painting the walls bright orange for a bit. And when it sets my whole living room is illuminated. I cannot even describe how happy that made me, it was my solace for these last weeks that I spent at home. But the 7 day weather forecast swapped little suns with clouds and now it’s grey and gloomy again.

So a little over two weeks ago I broke my foot. I fell on stairs. Landed on my foot with a bang. And then it hurt. But I neglected the severity of the injury at first. You know, sometimes you trip, turn your ankle and it freaking hurts for about 10 min but then the pain fades. I was convinced it’s gonna fade. But it didn’t. And suddenly I couldn’t walk. Continue reading

Page 59 of 365 – Treasuring Now

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I’m grateful for waking up this morning. Another day on planet earth and it’s not in any way less valuable just because I’m stuck at home and struggling with my health. Life is now. This moment is all we have.

And I want to treasure it by surrendering to it fully. Always. Not just when it’s easy because living feels effortless. I might be in pain. Might feel exhausted and spacey. But I’m alive! And I can choose what I make of this situation, how I respond, what vibrations I send out…

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page 58 of 365 – Claiming My Space


Such an important day. Not smooth. Not simple. But essential for things sorted out and taken care of. And difficulties tackled. Conversations made. Realizations had. For how little there’s happening in my physical reality right now as I’m stuck in my apartment all day there’s a damn lot happening within.

And maybe that’s why life forced me to stop & become still, cancel all plans, even this important trip to Kenia, so that I’m able to really hold space for myself and these processes happening during this intense ascension time right now✨

Through this situation I’m realizing how much I still struggle to take up room. In life. In relationships, even the closest ones. I’m grateful for this coming up in so many areas right now – this issue being right in my face so that I take action, find the underlying thought patterns and heal past experiences that caused me to so often feel “too much” or worry of being a burden for anyone. I share this because I imagine others might struggle with this too! Right now I’m learning that I’m allowed to claim my space, that I’m not fully living when I try to be as frugal as possible and that I’m blocking of deep connections by doing so…
I’m grateful get well letters in the mail, for vegan chocolate and all the snowflakes dancing in front of my windows. Grateful for having the guts to bring up uncomfortable topics but also the self reflection to admit where I’ve been off. I’m grateful for people that share honestly and unapologetically, for out of nowhere knowings and feeling so far away from my best right now, the utter discomfort life put me in, as that’s where we truly grow.

page 57 of 365 – Prioritising Thyself & Iceland Thoughts


Today I’m grateful for snow on my face when I waited for my mom earlier. I wish I could head out for winter walks. Snow is rare here in the north of Germany and it’s so beautiful right now, especially the sunset hours when the sun breaks through the clouds before melting into the horizon, or in the mornings just before it rises, painting soft sorbet swirls on the sky. This sunny weather all throughout February is just as unusual as white covered fields and I miss my walks, miss the woods, where I spent so many hours discovering myself, where I always feel so home surrounded by trees and fairies.  Continue reading

page 54 of 365 – Bigger Than Myself


I’m grateful for the horrible day yesterday was because it’s these days that are so valuable for our growth. So essential.

My health state got pretty bad quite fast and I was faced with a few difficulties. But there are still so crazy many things that are beautiful, big like having a roof above my head and food in my fridge or small like a nice customer service on the phone.

And through challenging phases in the past I’ve learned that it is always not despite the pain, the struggle or the despair that we grow, it’s because of them. Continue reading

page 53 of 365 – When Everything Kinda Really Sucks

I‘m grateful to be alive. And grateful for my faith still guiding me through the craziness of my reality right now.
The past 24h have been a real struggle. I’m battling with pain in different parts of my body and intense swelling, couldn’t sleep all night and this morning the medical practice where I had an appointment to get x rays was closed for a total crash of their system.

Now I have to wait till Monday and I was supposed to leave for Kenya on Thursday – for a trip that I looked forward to so so so much. But as much as I’m usually the last one to give up I gotta make a responsible and reasonable decision here and that’s been a challenge. And then my best friend called me crying because her beloved dog was hit by a train…

Ahh guys I’m not gonna lie, I’m really fucking sad. And that’s okay. Because this is totally part of whatever life wants to teach me.

And even when everything kinda sucks there are still things to be grateful for. Like my mom getting me some fresh food yesterday so I can fuel my aching body with fruits and veggies again instead of just muesli and rice. Or jojoba oil to massage my legs. And yoga nidra guided meditations at least giving my nervous system a break. I’m grateful for the trails I’ll head on when my foot is healed. For the rocks I’ll climb and the oceans I’ll dive into. For sand between my toes and salty breezes in my hair. For the help I’ll be able to give when I’m recovered. For the projects to come that I need my full strength for. And ultimately for knowing that this experience is exactly what’s most needed for the evolution of my consciousness. Because it always is. #jjgratitudebook

page 52 of 365 – The Full Experience

I’m grateful for coloring books and listening to Toltec wisdom, for flickering candles and sushi deliveries. Grateful for sunrise rays illuminating my walls in the morning, the days getting a tiny bit longer already. Grateful for the sunniest month ever even though I can’t leave the house at the moment – apparently a sunny & dry February is a good sign for the weather the following months, yay to all the random things you can put in a search engine.

I’m grateful for friends texting to check up on me because this isolation is definitely a challenge right now. But also grateful for getting a bit calmer with every day that I’m stuck at home. The past few days been tough, physically and mentally. But it could have come way worse. I can still use my hands, I have this warm safe place, I have my phone to talk to my closest ones and this app to connect with people all around the world, I have books and music and incense and candles and so many different teas I can try a new one every day. And I have my breath to help calm my nervous system and my heart that’s been racing even faster than my thoughts. And therefore I’m grateful for everything exactly as it is because it’s life. And that’s what we here for. Not to make it easy. But to make it full. 
I’m grateful for the pain being much better already and for managing to clean a bit because the neat freak part of me was getting nervous haha. For Deepak Chopra meditations helping me fall asleep, 432hz music and the presence of my plants. Wow I’m such a freak 🌿
Grateful for things coming up in my dream, memories I repressed, knowing that my subconscious mind is processing a whole lot at the moment.
I’m grateful for whatever will come. Being okay with every next chapter. Grateful for my mom’s help with #WeForUs.

For nothing being realer than whatever we can possibly imagine. Endless possibilities for us to bring into the visible material world, stem cells of matter just waiting for our thoughts to grab them, for us to tap into conscious creation. Oh what a wild world ✨ #jjgratitudebook