CHANGES!

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Hey you! ♥︎

I have been thinking a lot about my work, my content, my situation, life, everything… over the past week. As you probably know from my post on Instagram and my latest blogpost, I was planning to be in Kenya right now to bring donations, help and volunteer at the school there. This has been a big dream of mine for a while now and I was so excited to bring it to fruition finally. But life had a different plan and so I am currently bed ridden with a broken foot and severe adrenal fatigue symptoms – and therefor a lot more time to introspect and plan than expected.

Today I want to share some recent reflections with you and announce a few changes that I am making.  Continue reading

page 58 of 365 – Claiming My Space

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Such an important day. Not smooth. Not simple. But essential for things sorted out and taken care of. And difficulties tackled. Conversations made. Realizations had. For how little there’s happening in my physical reality right now as I’m stuck in my apartment all day there’s a damn lot happening within.

And maybe that’s why life forced me to stop & become still, cancel all plans, even this important trip to Kenia, so that I’m able to really hold space for myself and these processes happening during this intense ascension time right now✨

Through this situation I’m realizing how much I still struggle to take up room. In life. In relationships, even the closest ones. I’m grateful for this coming up in so many areas right now – this issue being right in my face so that I take action, find the underlying thought patterns and heal past experiences that caused me to so often feel “too much” or worry of being a burden for anyone. I share this because I imagine others might struggle with this too! Right now I’m learning that I’m allowed to claim my space, that I’m not fully living when I try to be as frugal as possible and that I’m blocking of deep connections by doing so…
I’m grateful get well letters in the mail, for vegan chocolate and all the snowflakes dancing in front of my windows. Grateful for having the guts to bring up uncomfortable topics but also the self reflection to admit where I’ve been off. I’m grateful for people that share honestly and unapologetically, for out of nowhere knowings and feeling so far away from my best right now, the utter discomfort life put me in, as that’s where we truly grow.

page 57 of 365 – Prioritising Thyself & Iceland Thoughts

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Today I’m grateful for snow on my face when I waited for my mom earlier. I wish I could head out for winter walks. Snow is rare here in the north of Germany and it’s so beautiful right now, especially the sunset hours when the sun breaks through the clouds before melting into the horizon, or in the mornings just before it rises, painting soft sorbet swirls on the sky. This sunny weather all throughout February is just as unusual as white covered fields and I miss my walks, miss the woods, where I spent so many hours discovering myself, where I always feel so home surrounded by trees and fairies.  Continue reading

page 54 of 365 – Bigger Than Myself

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I’m grateful for the horrible day yesterday was because it’s these days that are so valuable for our growth. So essential.

My health state got pretty bad quite fast and I was faced with a few difficulties. But there are still so crazy many things that are beautiful, big like having a roof above my head and food in my fridge or small like a nice customer service on the phone.

And through challenging phases in the past I’ve learned that it is always not despite the pain, the struggle or the despair that we grow, it’s because of them. Continue reading

page 53 of 365 – When Everything Kinda Really Sucks

I‘m grateful to be alive. And grateful for my faith still guiding me through the craziness of my reality right now.
The past 24h have been a real struggle. I’m battling with pain in different parts of my body and intense swelling, couldn’t sleep all night and this morning the medical practice where I had an appointment to get x rays was closed for a total crash of their system.

Now I have to wait till Monday and I was supposed to leave for Kenya on Thursday – for a trip that I looked forward to so so so much. But as much as I’m usually the last one to give up I gotta make a responsible and reasonable decision here and that’s been a challenge. And then my best friend called me crying because her beloved dog was hit by a train…

Ahh guys I’m not gonna lie, I’m really fucking sad. And that’s okay. Because this is totally part of whatever life wants to teach me.

And even when everything kinda sucks there are still things to be grateful for. Like my mom getting me some fresh food yesterday so I can fuel my aching body with fruits and veggies again instead of just muesli and rice. Or jojoba oil to massage my legs. And yoga nidra guided meditations at least giving my nervous system a break. I’m grateful for the trails I’ll head on when my foot is healed. For the rocks I’ll climb and the oceans I’ll dive into. For sand between my toes and salty breezes in my hair. For the help I’ll be able to give when I’m recovered. For the projects to come that I need my full strength for. And ultimately for knowing that this experience is exactly what’s most needed for the evolution of my consciousness. Because it always is. #jjgratitudebook

page 52 of 365 – The Full Experience

I’m grateful for coloring books and listening to Toltec wisdom, for flickering candles and sushi deliveries. Grateful for sunrise rays illuminating my walls in the morning, the days getting a tiny bit longer already. Grateful for the sunniest month ever even though I can’t leave the house at the moment – apparently a sunny & dry February is a good sign for the weather the following months, yay to all the random things you can put in a search engine.

I’m grateful for friends texting to check up on me because this isolation is definitely a challenge right now. But also grateful for getting a bit calmer with every day that I’m stuck at home. The past few days been tough, physically and mentally. But it could have come way worse. I can still use my hands, I have this warm safe place, I have my phone to talk to my closest ones and this app to connect with people all around the world, I have books and music and incense and candles and so many different teas I can try a new one every day. And I have my breath to help calm my nervous system and my heart that’s been racing even faster than my thoughts. And therefore I’m grateful for everything exactly as it is because it’s life. And that’s what we here for. Not to make it easy. But to make it full. 
I’m grateful for the pain being much better already and for managing to clean a bit because the neat freak part of me was getting nervous haha. For Deepak Chopra meditations helping me fall asleep, 432hz music and the presence of my plants. Wow I’m such a freak 🌿
Grateful for things coming up in my dream, memories I repressed, knowing that my subconscious mind is processing a whole lot at the moment.
I’m grateful for whatever will come. Being okay with every next chapter. Grateful for my mom’s help with #WeForUs.

For nothing being realer than whatever we can possibly imagine. Endless possibilities for us to bring into the visible material world, stem cells of matter just waiting for our thoughts to grab them, for us to tap into conscious creation. Oh what a wild world ✨ #jjgratitudebook

Page 51 of 365 – Time For Softness

I’m grateful for more clarity.
I’m good at being hard on myself which is useful in extreme situations. I know I can rely on myself in an emergency. Control I can. Care needs practice. Right now life requires me to be soft and gentle.

To stop. To rest. And that appears to be a bigger challenge than expected. Therefore I’m grateful for my body sending me clear signals, for everything kind of feeling out of whack. For being present with it. And the determination to learn this lesson.
I am used to severity. Now it’s time for softness. I made massive steps in the right direction the past few years but leftovers of old patterns sometimes surface, demanding me to face the deepest issues and continue to heal and break free.

So that I can embody myself fully and raise to my full potential as Jil in this lifetime. All that I strive to be for others I need to be for myself. It always starts with us.

I’m grateful for the mindfuck of exploring quantum physics and cosmic truths. For being alive right now as this global awakening, this collective transformation is taking place .

I’m grateful for a care package by @conscious_lifestyle_of_mine in the mail that literally saved my breakfast as I didn’t even have any oats left and I can’t go grocery shopping at the moment. And for the postwoman that brought it, as I haven’t seen any other face than my own since Sunday. And @aaronnight ‘s on my phone screen which makes me incredibly grateful for the technology that we have available. Making me wonder what might be possible in just a few years and hope that we will use it wisely.

Im grateful for memories that cheer me up, grateful for skinny love flowers growing in unlikely places, smiles telling tales when words seem way too small.
Grateful for when life feels easy for a bit. Suddenly just so full. A moment of bliss. A knowing.
For getting through lots of work and an exciting project coming up. .
For no fear of taking chances. For this year being one of saying YES. To opportunities in front of us. To union. To together. To risks. To adventure. To explore. To forgiveness. To health. To truth. To love. To life. To God. To myself.
#jjgratitudebook

page 50 of 365 – Dropping the Pressure

50 days of 2018. I‘m grateful for the incredibly fast transformations that already took place, for beautiful manifestations and heart projects coming to life. Grateful for 7 eventful first weeks of the year, 2018‘s intensity and veracity, asking us to step up and into our power.
Well I’m not stepping anywhere right now and I try to really wind down, realizing how stressed I have been and how that was eating away at me.

I‘m grateful for dropping pressure I put on myself, this injury forcing me to just stop. For sleep being what I probably need most right now. For feeling my foot healing already… Grateful for setting boundaries where I feel my private space invaded, what can be difficult because I genuinely want to make space for everyone. But when things feel off we gotta listen, we gotta pay attention. I’m grateful for this beautiful livestream with you last night, for all the crazy loving feedback afterwards, leaving me with such a warm feeling but also humbling me. I’m grateful for being called an inspiration, a role model. For how much these words actually mean to me, blowing my mind & covering my body with goosebumps. For being able to share my story, ups and downs, learnings and blessings, my ideas and beliefs. Being me, unapologetically. To invite you to be. To hold space for us all. To explore. And reflect and learn and fall and rise. Building community. Installing hope. Making change. Reminding you, yes YOU, how precious you are. How needed. How loved… Never forget that you are here for a reason. You are divinely created, here to expand and grow and learn. Always protected, even through the craziest storms. Free yourself of worries and regrets, don’t strive for perfection, strive for YOU. The whole experience. #jjgratitudebook

Page 49 of 365 – Nothing For Granted

I’m grateful for hearing the birds sing songs that forebode springtime already and the beautiful weather outside, sun shining through my windows and turning the sky all fiery when it started melting into the horizon, birthing a starry night sky and this beautiful waxing crescent moon… 🌒 Grateful for all you beautiful beings that went for a walk for me or sent me yoga snaps. This experience really deepens the appreciation for my body. For how it carries me in this lifetime. Being a home for my soul in this time space reality. I want to protect this state like a treasure, plan to consciously give thanks daily and not take anything for granted it does for me.

Continue reading