page 58 of 365 – Claiming My Space

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Such an important day. Not smooth. Not simple. But essential for things sorted out and taken care of. And difficulties tackled. Conversations made. Realizations had. For how little there’s happening in my physical reality right now as I’m stuck in my apartment all day there’s a damn lot happening within.

And maybe that’s why life forced me to stop & become still, cancel all plans, even this important trip to Kenia, so that I’m able to really hold space for myself and these processes happening during this intense ascension time right now✨

Through this situation I’m realizing how much I still struggle to take up room. In life. In relationships, even the closest ones. I’m grateful for this coming up in so many areas right now – this issue being right in my face so that I take action, find the underlying thought patterns and heal past experiences that caused me to so often feel “too much” or worry of being a burden for anyone. I share this because I imagine others might struggle with this too! Right now I’m learning that I’m allowed to claim my space, that I’m not fully living when I try to be as frugal as possible and that I’m blocking of deep connections by doing so…
I’m grateful get well letters in the mail, for vegan chocolate and all the snowflakes dancing in front of my windows. Grateful for having the guts to bring up uncomfortable topics but also the self reflection to admit where I’ve been off. I’m grateful for people that share honestly and unapologetically, for out of nowhere knowings and feeling so far away from my best right now, the utter discomfort life put me in, as that’s where we truly grow.

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