4AM Thoughts

IMG_9979-2I’m the girl that stops to take pictures of flowers and the setting sun, freaking out about the sky turning pink. I’m the one you’ll much rather find moon gazing on a Friday night than in a smoky club. I love windowsills and rooftops, I want to hear about your visions and I’m interested in the dreams you had when you were a child. Talk to me about your fears and that what makes your heart skip a beat. You know, I wonder what you think about when you can’t sleep at 4 am. For the longest time I thought I need to hide certain aspects of myself in order to fit in. Too emotional. Too sensitive, too deep. Too fragile. My lifestyle too weird, too different from what everyone around me is doing. But I don’t even wanna be part of a system in which it’s strange to eat only plants, I don’t want to explain myself for not drinking alcohol. I don’t want to be seen as boring for reading books and not owning a TV. I’m not crazy for believing in magic and if you want to call me a tree hugger for burning sage and wearing crystals then go ahead – I think trees are fucking amazing and yes I’m the girl standing barefoot in the woods. I cry during movies and good music gives me goosebumps. And honest conversations. I love art. And poetry. I’m drawn to the mysteries of life. I pray. I chant. I meditate. And yes I actually want to make a change in this world. I believe in humanity and I always see the good in people. Organic stores and food markets will always get me more excited than fast fashion. And I’d much rather invest in essential oils than designer bags. I love the smell of my skin after spending all day outside. And when I like you I want to tell you. I don’t like putting things into boxes or labels on anything. I don’t expect. I don’t pretend. But I hug. Often. I hold hands. And I’ll look straight into your eyes when we talk. I mess things up and I might be intense. But I’m the first one to apologize, never afraid to face my demons. After years of questioning my ways and having to numb my sensations and experiences I finally made peace with my overly sensitive nature – and I’m the happiest girl in the world for finally reconnecting to my tribe.

12 thoughts on “4AM Thoughts

  1. whatismaria says:

    I want this framed and hung up on my wall because it is the most genuine and pure thing I’ve read in the longest time and reflects the thoughts I have on a regular basis. It is so strange that our society brings down those who are connected and emotional, who derive happiness from the universe rather than fashion or the latest TV show.. Thank you very much for sharing this Jil and I hope you are having an incredible weekend ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Leonie says:

    Tausen Dank dafür, dass du diese Gedanken mit uns teilst. Das erste was ich gedacht habe war: „Sie hat so recht. Ich fühle mich genau wie sie. So schön zu merken, dass ich nicht alleine bin.“ Ich fühle mich so verstanden. Ich fühle mich bestärkt darin mich selbst zu bleiben und keinen Teil von mir zu leugnen oder zu verstecken. Ich glaube ich fange erst gerade damit an wirklich mich selbst zu sein. Aber es fühlt sich so wunderbar an. So befreiend, so friedlich, so ehrlich.
    Für mich ist das hier eine kleine Mutprobe. So offen zu schreiben, aber es tut mir gut.
    Ich bin auch hochsensibel und komme mir oft zu kompliziert, zu empfindlich und zu schwach vor. Aber ich bin auch dankbar dafür so intensiv zu fühlen, mich an kleinen Dingen wie einem kleinen krummen Pilzchen im Wald erfreuen zu können wie ein kleines Kind oder Glücksgefühle zu haben wenn mir die Sonne ins Gesicht scheint.
    Nachmals vielen Dank. Hab eine wunderbare Nacht!
    Herzliche Grüsse

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sladyana says:

    Oh Jil, ich fühle mich so verstanden. Du gibst mir das Gefühl nicht allein zu sein. Du nimmst mir die Angst, von der Norm abzuweichen. All das was ich bei mir selbst in Frage gestellt habe, scheint bei dir so wunderschön und „normal“ zu sein. Du hast mir einen wundervollen Denkanstoß gegeben, du hast mich glücklich gemacht. Deine Magie wirkt Wunder💫

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Any | Echo Of Magic says:

    Das ist so wunderschön und die Gedanken, die uns Nachts umwandern sind wohl die, die frei von der Seele kommen, weil sie die Wahrheit in sich tragen und sie nichts mehr verborgen hält. Nicht im Außen, nicht in unserem Inneren. Und ich möchte dir danke sagen. Danke, dass du all das teilst. Ich kann dich sehen und du bist wunderschön!

    Any | Echo Of Magic


  5. meowgirl47Debra ford says:

    Anyone who knows you feels honored to be some part of your life! You are a real and authentic being living transparently and beautifully. We can all learn so much! I am 63 yrs old and receive so much inspiration from you. Never doubt your impact on this earth and continue being in this world the way you are!❤️❤️


  6. wreckedwonderland says:

    Oh my freaking god!!! This is the most beautiful and genuine thing i read lately like how much more relate able it could be?!!
    Thank you for sharing it with us! Keep doing you.
    cheers! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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