Hello beautiful souls.
You have no idea how many days I have been pushing this away. Weeks in fact. Or rather months.
If you follow me on Instagram (@jiliciousjourney) you know that I use that platform for my “blogging”. It has been my diary for the last couple of years and I love sharing my thoughts on there. But in saying that I do regret that I haven’t really been using my blog, because while I do reach a lot of people with my captions on IG daily, a) it’s not really the perfect place for long deep writings and b) people usually don’t really go back and read older posts so they somewhat get lost.
Instagram has become a comfort zone for me. Suffering with mental health makes many things that seem normal and achievable for others insanely hard for me. This is true for many areas in my life. One being my work and this blog. Can you believe that I actually had anxiety to start writing here?
What kept me from doing it? Perfectionism. Pressure I put on myself. Fear. Crazy right? You would think it wouldn’t matter at all whether I use IG or this page – but in my head it did. I let that fear control me and become so big within me that it seemed impossible to confront it.
I never thought of myself as a writer really – I never planned to be a blogger. I was really good in school but writing essays wasn’t my strength. Or maybe me teachers didn’t get me? It’s insane how things like that can get stuck in your head and keep you from doing stuff. Why do we need to rate things? Shouldn’t school be about exploring ourselves and finding our passions rather than fitting into certain boxes?
So yeah, somewhere along my life’s path I picked up the belief that I’m not a good writer. To this day I get anxious and nervous when I NEED to write something.
But through documenting my journey of self discovery on IG I fell in love with putting my emotions into words, finding ways to translate experiences, capturing both pain and joy… I do journal – at the moment even a couple of times daily – but I often find myself going even deeper within while writing a caption for you. I pour my heart into these texts. And it means the world to me to be able to share them with you, read your comments and connect with you on such a personal level.
But for the reasons I listed above and simply for the fact that I reach the character maximum pretty much daily at the moment – I’m gonna leave that comfort zone now. And hey it actually feels pretty damn good already.
So as most of you will know, I have been going through a pretty crazy time. This year has been incredibly challenging for me. But so beautiful and transformational at the same time. And the more I have opened up the more comments and messages I am receiving from girls and boys out there going through similar things.
I want to help. I want to share my experiences with you. What I have learned. What helps me to get through this. Just everything. In the same messy, deep, real – jilicious? – way that I write my captions.
I want to create this safe place for you to come and find yourself in my words. To maybe pick up things to try for yourself. To share your own thoughts and emotions in the comments. I want to spread awareness for topics that are SO common yet still so taboo. And of course continue to share my favourite plantbased recipes and tips with you…
So I guess the message I have for you today: stop being afraid. I know how it feels when you simply “can’t even” – and we’ll get to that in another post.
But if it’s “only” fear (and other people’s opinions about you) holding you back from things that otherwise would bring you joy – break free. There might be a thing or two that keeps popping up in your head. But instead of listening to those callings you try to ignore it. And the longer you do, the more miserable you feel. We are all afraid of something. But truth is it’s generally not the most talented or gifted people (what’s talent anyways?) that set things in motion and become successful – but the ones who step out of that self imposed prison and into action. The ones who dare.
When you realise that your fear is holding you back you have to make a choice. Do you let it keep holding you back and stopping you from living the life you are dreaming of? Or do you overcome that fear and just start. Once you start facing it, it no longer has a hold of you. In order to fly, we must be willing to give up the ground we are used to stand on right?
You probably know the famous quote “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.” (Marianne Williamson)
So today I want to encourage you to start facing a fear that’s stuck in your head. What is one idea or project you have been putting off? An area in your life where you’ve become stuck? A comfort zone you are afraid to leave? Take pen and paper and write them down. It really helps to make them somewhat tangible and less frightening.
And then come up with one step. One small step you can take towards that vision of yours. The path that frightens you is EXACTLY the one you need to choose.
Thanks for being here. I’m excited.
Let’s do this.